And then there was July...

Since it will be July in less than an hour - and today has officially been the least productive weekday of the summer - I figured I would take a moment and waste some more time.  Since I will (hopefully) be diligent enough over the next 29 days to not leave any time for this .. I'm going to take the next 20 minutes to psych myself up to "move into 10-12 hour study days for July." Seriously? ... that can't actually be productive in the 11th hour.  

Anyway - today started off just like any other Monday - a bowl of cereal and 10 cups of increasingly stronger coffee - though at about hour 2, I was struggling.  My mom was here yesterday, and insisted on buying me an hour glass from potterybarn which, though at the time I had no clue what I was going to do with it, came in quite handy around this time as I was looking for something to literally make hours pass.  I successfully read 2 sections of material - though if someone wanted me to summarize what I read today, I wouldn't be able to do it with a gun to my head. 

At that point I decided that I would listen to lectures online, (which would be more horrifying than reading if I actually had to put forth any effort), which is nice ... because then I can just lay on the floor and "learn." After an hour or so, of rewinding and wondering what language this woman was speaking in, I figured I might as well do something productive.  

I sent some text messages, made some phone calls, polished my furniture (yes, seriously - and no, I don't know why), made important decisions like "what the hell lampshade makes this not look like an 'old people room'," and ate snacks. After sitting in the sun for awhile,  hoping to get sunburned in an effort to not so obviously appear to the rest of the world as a hermit, I figured I could do some damage at meijer. What a fabulous idea. Now it is 11:30, my apartment couldn't be cleaner, I am the proud owner of 5 new boxes of cereal, I have yet another lampshade to contemplate, I organized my bathroom cabinets, and I refurbished an old mirror I had with a new can of black paint (which surprisingly didn't spill all over the floor). Oh, and that hourglass is still doing its job, and I feel like I'm almost delusional enough to think that hours are actually going by faster...  

In an effort to avoid cleaning my garage (yes, its seriously gotten to that point), I am going to try to go to sleep.  Maybe I will wake up and actually be able to learn things tomorrow. Otherwise I am going to have to resort to alternatives ... like sleeping with books under my pillow and hoping that some sort of osmosis takes place...

have more, need less

seriously, I need so much less of this.  I finish a thousand page book only to find out that I have about 5 more to finish - not to mention save time to actually LEARN all of this...  

someone get me a witness.

all I want to do is eat doughnuts, drink coffee, and post on my blog or write that defaming book about my life.  

T-34 days and counting... 

Don't Study with Beer and Cigarettes

What fabulous advice.  After yesterday's reading marathon of nearly 150 pages .. today the words were all running together on the page that I resorted to listening to the online lectures that were provided along with my bar review program.  

Aside from things like, "lets take 3 minutes to read handout #1," which I don't have because apparently they don't provide the material to go along with the lecture, and "I'll be brief in this explanation since you can read it in full on handout #2," which conveniently, I wasn't given either, this lecturer offered a final piece of advice: "don't study while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes."  Really?  I was almost sure that was gonna work for me.  Has this turned into a common sense exam?  Either way I'm still in trouble.

Anyway, that's my Friday night.  Along with consuming the last "can" of chicken I could find in my apartment.  Don't get me wrong, I love canned chicken, but I could seriously go for the real thing, along with a ginormous bread basket. 

This is getting really old already... 

Fabulous

I just recently remembered/found a way to log into my blog after a pretty significant amount of time... and alas, have no time to post on it. For the next 5 weeks I will be chained to a table, or at least confined to my apartment, with my face in a book reading about some horrifying subject likely to be tested on the Bar.  Please be jealous, I can't think of anything I would rather spend my summer doing.  

Rest assured, after July 31, and after a solid week of drinks, inappropriate encounters, and celebration, I will begin that long-awaited therapeutic task of writing a book.  For anyone who knows me on a personal level, you should know that this book will most likely be a compilation of the disastrous satanic encounters that have come to define my life.  There are probably more than you even know about. Many of you will probably cease being my friend once published; though hopefully that isn't the case, since I would rather purchase a few bottles of vodka and celebrate the appalling events that have made up my 20's thus far.  

Either way, after July, I'm looking forward to fabulousness.  Either in the form of relaxation, employment, publication, a few stiff drinks - or if I had my way for once - a nice combination of all those things.  Stay tuned...