Summer Unfolded Like A Tapestry

How many Saturdays am I going to have to stand around and look at the weather?

Honestly... Two shifts of mine went straight to hell due to the extensive rain forecast...and though I wasn't really ok with it, I was excited enough to forget about it when I found my electric bill in the mail when I got home.

No, I don't like getting/paying bills, but for some reason, although I use my AC all the time, day/night, they only decided to charge me 50 dollars for the past month...which isn't that much more than I payed in Holland. When I referred to "budgeting" in my last post, electric bills were estimated for at least 150 dollars a month...so that's where the excitement came from when I got the last one.

I talked to my brother this morning, hes doing well, and claims that he doesn't want to come home from Brazil, but I'm sure I'll see him again at some point. He actually told me that they were flying back through Miami on the way home...so hopefully I'll be able to see him this time...it'd be kind of awesome.

My manager told me that since I've gotten shafted on my last two weekend schedules, that I can write my own schedule for the following week. I can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing, because initially, I hate going into work. I don't mind it once I get there, it's just getting ready and going there that I'm not a fan of. So I was thinking that if I make my own schedule, I'm going to be mad at myself on the nights that I scheduled myself, but really don't want to go in. It's kind of a conundrum...and I think I might just say pass on the situation...because honestly, I don't really care that much anyways. I'm already used to making a schedule around work, and I'd rather not switch to trying to make work around a schedule.

I've been kind of meloncholy over the last couple days...but I'm over it. Although my parents are still on my case about making "the worst decisions of my life," I'm trying my best to not let them get to me. My mom must be running out of ways to personally attack me, since she's recently resorted to running in circles about the whole situation, but I feel as though if I grit my teeth and bear it for a couple more conversations, she'll have exhausted the rest of her options.

I just made kind of a big deal about nothing...it's just hard to be happy about life when all the people I grew up loving/looking up to/learning from are currently condemning it...anyways...I hope it eventually passes, along with this long string of thunderstorms and rain.

"Remember all the lessons fed to me?
me the young sponge, so ready to agree
years have gone, I recognize the walking dead
now aware that I'm alive and way ahead
I see you looking
I know that you're thinking
that I'll never go anywhere
the things that I've done
and the things that I've seen
I don't really expect you to care
Too bad the things that make you mad
are my favorite things"

p.s. (happy birthday joe:))