Check Again Please

It's been a rough couple of days...mainly because I've been sick - and may as well have been on bedrest for the past 2 days. I've basically felt pretty useless. There haven't been many days where I actually didn't think I could work, but yesterday was one of them...I bit the bullet and called in sick. I hate doing that. Mainly because I hate people that do that, and hate the thought of being one of them. It's a different story when people actually are sick, but that's rarely the case. Nonetheless, seeing as how I didn't do much more that fall asleep in various places in my apartment, I feel as though my call was justified.

I think it got to the point yesterday where taking a combination of medicines made me see crazy things, not to mention feeling narcoleptic. One minute it was 3:30, the next, I woke up and it was nearly 8 - and I sometimes had no recollection of trying to fall asleep...anyway, I felt a little better when I woke up today, good enough to work sluggishly until about 3 when I came back here and crashed again for the evening.

It's friday night, nearly 9 o'clock, and I'm sitting here nursing down one of the four components of my recent diet: soup, oatmeal, juice, and fruit cups (it's soup right now), listening to Christmas music with my cat, and wondering if I went to sleep right now, would I be able to make it through the night? I tried to move onto solid food, like crackers and cereal today, but it felt like a knife on my throat...maybe i'll treat myself to some ice cream tonight.

I'm beginning to wonder what Christmas would look and feel like here. Some say it's just different, and some say it's not like Christmas at all. I don't know why I'm all that worried about it, seeing as how it's the beginning of August, and no one said I would even make it through school alive that far so maybe I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I've talked to my mom a couple times this past week, and things seem to be looking up a little. All I can say is at least they're not looking down any further. Thankfully, it didn't get worse than it did, and all I can do at this point is hope that it only gets better from here.

I've got a week left at work, it's been good, and I can see myself going back. I don't think I was there long enough to hate it. The way I see it, is that if I only work there in small incriments, like summers, then I won't ever be there long enough at one time to begin to despise it the way I did Carino's. It would be a shame to be able to complain that much about two different places in the same year.

I've watched about 3/4 of probably 5 movies in the last 2 days, mainly because I can't stay awake long enough to finish them. In addition to that, I started a new game of Kingdom Hearts, though I only made it about a half hour before I dropped the controller on my way to sleep. I think my body may be trying to tell me something.

I was only 100 dollars away from buying a bunny last week. It was the cutest little white bunny, and all it wanted to do was be loved. I though my cat and I could share the job, just kidding. I told my brother that I was thinking about it, he just laughed and said "wow, you're retarted."

I get to have tomorrow off to recooperate a little more, but then guess what, I get to work the patio on Sunday night so I'll get hellbent all over again. In addition to that, I get to open twice next week, which is ridiculous. All that means it I get to roll into work half asleep at 9:30 a.m., sort some spoons, wipe down tables, and set the whole restaurant up for less than 5 dollars while getting dictated to by some girl who has been there about 2 months longer than I have. Today she was trying to take th job of "manager," and started yelling at everyone trying to tell people what to do. Funny how she didn't make it halfway through her instructions to me before I was walking away. I hate it when people talk down to people for no reason, there's no reason why she couldn't have been civilized about it. It probably just made me more mad because I haven't been able to get coffee down in about 3 days now.

"Far off and here,
Whole and broken,
Who in necessity and in bounty wait,
Who's truth is light and dark,
Mute, though spoken,
By thy wide grace,
Show me thy narrow gate..."