What Is..."After Mash"

After the previously referenced unfathomable day finally came to an end, I realized that if I could ditch my black work get-up, I could actually have a decent night.

Ending up here, and there, and a little bit of everywhere...I think I actually managed to lose my phone. Not awesome. My cat and I got into it this morning when she thought that 7:30 a.m. would be a good time to wake up. That put me at a good 3 or so hours of sleep. Again, not awesome.

This morning has made me realize a few things:

a) I need to learn to use a wine key, kind of a lot
b) My brother needs to get his pee checked out
c) Looking at my hands, I could really use a beer bottle opener belt buckle
d) I don't like sleeping for not a long time
e) I really like scrambled eggs
f) Meijers is scary on Friday mornings
g) I miss having a phone
h) I'd rather scrape snow off my car than pay 22 extra dollars a month in rent
i) Sweatpants are phenomenal

I could probably elaborate on the list, or add some things, but I think it would probably get to that point where it would be too much work to read.

Oh yea, and

j) when you get hair dye on your favorite jeans, it doesn't come out all that easily.
k) Joe with a cast makes me miss getting huge hugs with two functional arms

Anyways, green beer kinda scares me...I'll go ahead and stick to bottles. And whats with the ticket I got last night: "Kids chocolate milk - add green dye." Are you kidding me?

I just realized I have decorations from the last 3 holidays still in my apartment...kinda makes me feel sketchy.

Meow what is so damn funny?

Fake Irish Flare

Not that I'm anywhere near being Irish but, well, nevermind I don't even feel lucky today.

You know those dreams that make you feel like you're falling? And you jerk so hard it makes you wake up? Yea, I had those all night so in some demented way, I feel like I'm in for it today.

I went to Chuck E Cheese and played skee-ball like an 8-year-old kid last night. Kind of awesome.

I'm about to deck myself out in green and get er done with a whole, unfathomable 12-hour day at a family Italian restaurant, sounds like enough to put someone over the edge if you ask me.

p.s. My comment about green beer still stands...and toast one up for me cause I'll be servin' em all day...cheers

Green Beer

Not sure if I would drink it or not, but hey, people do some pretty crazy shit on St. Patty's day right?

Did you get that memo?

Jail Would Be A Nice Place

Besides being newly infatuated with chicken caeser salads, I realized today that the song "Hell Yes" by Beck rocks my world. I also was presented with the possibility of starting a business based on counterfitting checks for a living, therefore not being forced to move anywhere within the next couple months to go to law school.

I'm about to take a road trip to GH right now, based on jumbled, incoherant directions I just got from the mamed dutch guy I hang out with sometimes who's already there.

A question I got asked today, would I rather get a dozen red roses, or 18 multi-colored ones? I thought about it, and decided that I would probably go for the red, but it was my brother's question so I took it for what it's worth.

Also, a new non-smoking motivation presented by the Onion, "Mr. Masher, the trained bull elephant who really hates second hand smoke. My motivation, and anyone else's who needs one. He's already pulled over, he can't pull over any farther. And anyone who owns over $150 worth of deuce-deuces is o.k. in my book.

Littering and...?

Icicles

The only thing I like about winter is being able to walk outside and grab a 4-foot icicle off an overhang and carry it around my house like the huge idiot that I am...enough to take a picture of it and maybe put it on facebook somewhere.

Also, I actually had an awesome title for this blog, one that incorporated my favorite concept of the one and only "conundrum," but it got stolen by this crazy dutch guy that I hang out with sometimes. Anyway, I guess "caught you looking" will have to be sufficient. "Caught you looking," being derived from my new favorite fashion ad consisting of one of the plus-est sized models, yes she is pretty (and kinda sketch), wearing some hot, hip, second-skin jeans with bold, caps letters dominating the page suggesting she's wearing " my caught you looking jeans."

After we were trying to figure out whether or not they were jeans to get people "caught" looking, or some sort of fake j-lo ass padded get-ups, i realized it wasn't worth thinking about and I may as well appreciate it for what it's worth.

So here's to the ad, and also to the possibility of me one day owning some second skin caught-you-looking jeans...andiamo

Here We Go...

I'm kinda hopping on the bandwagon with this one...everyone else is doing it right? Plus, I wanted to be able to rant about being spontaneously random and let other people comment on it. That's about it...go on, put that in your pipe and smoke it...